Creating a Safe Space: Showing Your Loved Ones You Are a Supportive Ally
You never know if someone in your world is struggling with their identity. In LGBTQIA2S+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Two Spirit, Plus indicating any sexual orientations and gender identities not listed) populations, the risk of serious mental health concerns is higher compared to cisgender and heterosexual peers; compiled data from the Trevor Project indicates this disparity stems from fear of mistreatment, discrimination, and lack of systemic support (Nath et al., 2026). A startling 36% of minors who identify as LGBTQIA2S+ contemplated suicide in the past year and over half experienced bullying (Nath et al., 2026). Current events, media portrayals, and dinner table conversations can communicate acceptance, yet often deliver confusion, fear, and anxiety.
How can we help change this narrative and be supportive of loved ones, students, or clients who identify as LGBTQIA2S+? How can we be an ally for those who are not “out,” and communicate our acceptance? How can we begin to heal the mental health disparities in the LGBTQIA2S+ populations? Thankfully, research into these questions exists and continues to be unpacked. For now, here is what we know:
Finding media that portrays LGBTQIA2S+ populations can increase feelings of hope and inclusion, both protective factors against mental health concerns (Cardenas-Soto & Guillén, 2022). A parent instigating LGBTQIA2S+ media can also indirectly show acceptance to children who are questioning or not “out.” A teacher or therapist can communicate acceptance and safety by employing representative media and identities in lesson plans, examples, and interventions.
Open ended questions about a person's name, pronouns, and gender identity can increase LGBTQIA2S+ populations’ comfort and feelings of visibility (Solomon et al., 2017).
Being educated and comfortable or comfortable discussing sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression with loved ones can also increase feelings of safety (Solomon et al., 2017). This includes being educated and comfortable talking about the dominant discourses that shape our society (i.e., heteronormativity, patriarchy) and how these discourses can oppress LGBTQIA2S+ populations–even naming this marginalization can help folks feel more empowered and affirmed (Gates & Kelly, 2018).
So, how do we do this in real time as a parent, teacher, or therapist?
The internet is an amazing place! Here are some jump off points: https://www.them.us/entertainment (online LGBTQIA2S+ publication and media brand) Netflix, Amazon Prime, and TUBI all have LGBTQIA2S+ categories.
Examples of open ended questions to ask:
What are your/their pronouns?
How do you/they identify?
Do you feel like a boy/girl or something else?
How do you feel in your body?
How can I be a better support to you?
How can I be a better listener?
As a gender and LGBTQIA2S+ affirming therapist, I employ the above techniques and also stay current on research into gender affirming care and effective mental health treatment with folks who identify as LGBTQIA2S+. My experience also allows me a unique perspective and ability to empathize and explore with my clients, regardless of how they identify. The confidential nature of a therapeutic relationship can also lend itself to powerful and productive treatment for folks exploring their identities; this sense of safety can create distinct opportunities for clients to open up and examine their inner worlds without fear of rejection or judgment. At the end of the day, EVERY human can do their part communicating curiosity, acceptance, and safety by slowing down, asking thoughtful questions, and doing some research!
Resources
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/
https://pflag.org/find-resources/
References
Cardenas-Soto, S. & Guillén, H. (2022, October 14). Harvey Guillén on representation, Latinx history, and more. The Trevor Project Blog.
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/harvey-guillen-on-representation-latinx-history-and-more/.
Gates, T. G., & Kelly, B. L. (2018). Affirming and strengths-based models of practice. In M. P. Dentato (Ed.), Social Work Practice with the LGBTQ Community: The Intersection of History, Health, Mental Health, and Policy Factors (pp. 235–248). Oxford University Press.
Nath, R., Matthews, D.D., Hobaica, S., DeChants, J.P., Eden, T.M., Taylor, A.B., & Suffredini, K. (2026). 2025 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People. West Hollywood, California: The Trevor Project. https://doi.org/10.70226/EKGT3197
Solomon, D.T., Heck, N., Reed, O.M., Smith, D.W. (2017). Conducting culturally competent intake interviews with LGBTQ youth. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 4(4), 403-411. http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.simmons.edu/10.1037/sgd0000255.